KEEP OUT

The neighbor kids drive us krrrrrazy. There's the usual annoying kid behavior. Then there's the entire lack of supervision by parents. A couple of weeks ago we were sitting down eating dinner--eating dinner, I tell you--when one of the girls said, "hey, is that a puder [special marmot language for something unmentionable that you can no doubt figure out]  on the back porch?" And indeed it was. IT WAS, I'm telling you. The youngest and most revolting neighbor child had taken off his diaper on our back porch and let it all hang out, so to speak. On another day, an awful day, this same puder-boy hit Tooie on the head with a bat (which I confiscated and still have in my pantry) and then moments later pushed over the Marmot Babe into the grass and sat on his head and bounced up and down until I grabbed him and shoved him off. This child is now banned from our home because he shoves the Babe over backwards every time he sees him.

Today the next oldest child (female, age three) pulled up about half of my onions out of our garden and broke off all the stems of the others. The children have been appalled at this shocking behavior. E decided that a fence would be the best option to keep her and her ilk out. E and M were talking at dinner about how best to fence off our yard when Tooie piped up, thoughtfully, "we should put up a sign at our house that says 'keep out.'" Then he beamed at his own sagacity while nodding repeatedly. The girls kept up their fence talk (electric or conventional? gate or no gate?). Suddenly Tooie cut in with his coup de grace: "And we should put up at sign at Ella's house that says 'keep in.'"

Would that we could, my blue-eyed boy. [Actually green-eyed, but that doesn't sound as good.]